Defibrillator

It’s never who I was anyway

I lifted you up onto my shoulders
So you could see the world like mine
And I realized
The world just makes me cry

So I rest you now upon my chest
My dreams I lay them all to rest
We make a circle. in-out
Our breaths

You grew to overtake my tv
We’ll watch what you want. you’re 3
I gave up my games. No friends to see
I’ve climbed down my cloud, my tree

It’s never who I was anyway

The night they tore open my shirt
Compressions of life I felt the hurt
I gasped for your smell
A whiff. Just dirt

They don’t care about my tattoos
They shaved my head, chest hairs too
In the cold deep puddle I felt a fool
Stripped of my self my blood in pools

It’s never who I was anyway

Bloated he lay there face so white
With last gasp he said its alright
I say that’s a lie
I wish I knew how to save his life

‘whispered to me one night
About the hole in his heart
he knew how he would die
And it tears me apart
That I sold him white lines

And than let him drive

it’s always who I was anyway.

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